The End of February

Once again, I'm at Starbucks, this time somewhere south of where I live. Just to change it up. Whatever followers I had are long gone, and even I have lost interest. Yet, every now and then, the urge to "express myself" rears it's ugly head and here we are. So, I'm at Starbucks, and for the last half hour have been sizing up the men who come stand in line, waiting for something coffee-ish. This particular Starbucks skews on the older side as it's in Deerfield. This also means it skews towards the occasional scumbag that stumbles in. Eh, it's something different. John is leaving for Europe soon for two or three weeks, which means I'll be alone for that time. Some years ago, that would have been okay, but these days I've gotten attached to his presence in my life and so it will be difficult without him around. However, I'm planning to visit my parents during that time and we've arranged for Moon to stay with me for a little while, just so I won't be too lonely. Besides, she has a car, so that means we may have to go visit a gay bar or two. My writing career is non-existent, as is my photographic career. Just add them to the pile of discarded interests that clutter up my past. Perhaps I'm just too damn intelligent to settle for one interest very long. I'm currently reading David Leavitt, who reminds me of a gayer, softer version of Augusten Burroughs. And who both remind me of myself. I miss Boston nowadays. I knew I would eventually, although, at the time, it was possible that it would eat me alive. Today, I'd be fine with it. I think I'm in that perpetual state of limbo I often find myself. It's up to me to get out of it or suffer. I've already suffered enough so I guess it's man-up time...

Hey kids!

Yes, it's me. Back from the almost dead (aka Boca Raton). Feeling the urge to express myself with words. It's Thursday, at the end of April, and I'm currently at the library alone for some quality "me" time to read magazines and check out a book or two. It's time to get back home now, so just a quick hello and hopefully, more to say later!

Forget me not!

Hello there...

Fear not. I am alive and well somewhere on the 8th floor of a building in Boca Raton. He who barks at me is also around. Currently at one of the four Starbucks that I haunt in the area. Loved seeing my old buddy Michael Guy still doing this blogging shit and actually created a book out of all his blog posts. My 30 second snap synopsis? I'd like to see a bit more bite in his posts as he has a tendency to drift into "gracious good living" sometimes.

Welcome to Boca

It's 6:30 in the evening and I'm at Starbucks (once again!). Soon, I'll be heading home to have something to eat and check in with the other half, who spent most of today studying. I hope that all this work eventually pays off for him. It would be nice to be financially comfortable but I'd settle for happy. I hope it brings him the satisfaction that he's accomplished quite a bit since we left Orlando. While his education/career seem to be taking off, I've been feeling a little left out. Like my time has come already and there were no takers.

I sit either at home or, as in today, a quiet spot on the campus waiting for John to finish up his studying. Today it's with a tutor and soon we will be leaving for Ft. Lauderdale so that he can finish studying with his lesbian classmate. Most likely, I'll be dumped at Brew and there I will occupy my time until he's finished. Not that I mind too much. It's coffee, treats, new faces and some quality internet time. What's not to love?

I think I have a dentist appointment next week to rip the teeth from my lower jaw. I'm not looking forward to it, however, I've worried about it for so long, I just want it to be over with.

My plan of increasing my writing output has not materialized yet, but I haven't quite given up on it yet. I sense that all the pieces are there, swirling about me and it's just a matter of time until something clicks. I certainly hope so. With John making such progress at school, I've been feeling like the house idiot as of late. Of course, I know the truth and that does comfort me, but I'd like a little more. A little more attention. This is where I start whining and as John says, "Going in circles."  

My success or failure depends on me. If I want to write, then I should just write. 

My father had major surgery on his knees a while back, and while he was in no danger, it did remind me of his and my mother's mortality. I can't imagine them not being here, but then, I never imagined my beloved Mimi not being here either. One more season and it will have been a year. I still miss her and thinking about her still makes me cry. Oh well. 

Waiting

It's an early Saturday evening and while I wait for "he who gets dinner" to wake up from their nap, perhaps it's a good time to catch up. Last night we had our nephew Mikey here for a sleep-over. All was going well until he went to bed and then the trouble started. All he wanted was to go home. I remember seeing him face down on the floor, crying about wanting to go home. John wasn't going to have any of it as he was warned by his brother that there might be a meltdown. Finally, I felt so bad for him that I managed to get him to get into my bed and there we slept for the rest of the night. He's barely six years old and still wears "under-roos" at night because of some accidents. Last night was no surprise. I woke up this morning feeling the distinct sensation of dampness. One thing I have learned was not to give the child any grief for his accident and so I didn't. It was time for some fresh sheets on the bed anyway, I guess.
Later on, we went to a graduation party at some friends of John's from school back in Ft. Lauderdale. I spent most of the afternoon at Brew, which was nice because it had been a while since I had been there.
Today, I was at Starbucks, here in Boca. As far as Starbucks' go, it's not so bad. It's a relatively short walk from home and there's usually always something to see here.

While Others Study...

I sit either at home or, as in today, a quiet spot on the campus waiting for John to finish up his studying. Today it's with a tutor and soon we will be leaving for Ft. Lauderdale so that he can finish studying with his lesbian classmate. Most likely, I'll be dumped at Brew and there I will occupy my time until he's finished. Not that I mind too much. It's coffee, treats, new faces and some quality internet time. What's not to love?
I think I have a dentist appointment next week to rip the teeth from my lower jaw. I'm not looking forward to it, however, I've worried about it for so long, I just want it to be over with.
My plan of increasing my writing output has not materialized yet, but I haven't quite given up on it yet. I sense that all the pieces are there, swirling about me and it's just a matter of time until something clicks. I certainly hope so. With John making such progress at school, I've been feeling like the house idiot as of late. Of course, I know the truth and that does comfort me, but I'd like a little more. A little more attention. This is where I start whining and as John says, "Going in circles."  
My success or failure depends on me. If I want to write, then I should just write. 


My father had major surgery on his knees a while back, and while he was in no danger, it did remind me of his and my mother's mortality. I can't imagine them not being here, but then, I never imagined my beloved Mimi not being here either. One more season and it will have been a year. I still miss her and thinking about her still makes me cry. Oh well. 

Moving on

I'm at my desk and my beloved cat is sitting on the floor next to me. Sometimes he sits on the bed behind me and reaches over with his paws, which immediately makes me stop what I'm doing and turn around and scratch around his face (which he loves). There was a long time when I went without a pet of any kind since I was a child. Primarily, I was always moving. And not just in the cities nearby. I had to move several states away, which always required some kind of embarrassing, load up the car and strap the piano on the roof kind of thing. Ma and Pa Kettle would have been proud.

Which gets me thinking again about our move. I'm besides myself with excitement, not only for the luxurious and certainly satisfying apartment we're moving to, but also the opportunity to scrape my slate clean again. Some people go their entire life and only make one or two changes in their life. I've been stirring things up since I graduated from high school. I think I'm done, because I don't think I have the willpower anymore. As "Jax" said from "Absolutely Fabulous": "Patsy...I'm tired." Maybe it's maturity, but I'm done moving around. I'm hoping we stay here for a while, but knowing how the other half thinks, we may be moving sooner than I'd like, but in the meantime, let's enjoy.

I think it's time now, because it might be too late ever again, to really make an effort at becoming published or working within the industry. I hope it's not just working at the library, though.